How To Overcome Perfectionism

Text: Philippians 4:8

Be honest, have you ever met a perfectionist who was truly happy? I bet you’ll say no, because when things must always ‘be in a certain way’, life becomes miserable, and this is because life itself is constantly changing.

As they say, ‘the most constant thing in life is change’ and as a result, you shouldn’t expect something to always be or be done in a particular way at all times. For example, as soon as you solve one problem, another comes along. Instead on dwelling on their blessings and being grateful for what has been achieved, perfectionists focus on what’s wrong and why they need to fix it.

It may be a job they did that was less than perfect, a few pounds they need to lose, or even a disorganized wardrobe. Or it could be someone else’s imperfections: the way they live their life, how they behave, the way they look, or how they talk and walk, and so on. Perfectionists are never satisfied.

The truth is, constantly dwelling on flaws – your own or someone else’s – makes it impossible to be grateful. And gratitude is at the core of happiness. For clarity’s sake, we are not talking about striving to be better. Not being complacent, wanting to see how things can change from bad to good and to see how things can be done better is a good thing. But we are talking about obsessing over what’s wrong.

There’ll always be a better way to do something, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life the way it is right now. So what’s the cure for perfectionism? It starts with the realization that nothing is ever perfect. And though we may strive for things to be done appropriately, we mustn’t ignore the fact that even the best of us makes mistakes.

As such, you must catch yourself before you fall into the trap of insisting that things must always be done differently (perfectly) from how they are. Stop and remind yourself that, in the absence of your judgment, everything will work out just fine.

Apostle Paul says, ‘…in all things God works for the good of those who love him…’ (Romans 8:28). Did you get the message? Apostle Paul was simply saying God is in control; and it is okay for you to let go.

Instead of focusing on the negative, ‘think about the things that are good and worthy of praise’. For every feat achieved in whatever you do, be grateful. Though it may not be the best you had expected, things can only get better with a heart open to change, to learn and open to seeing the brighter side of things.

Choose to only see the positives in everything around you, and when you do, you will begin to discover how wonderful life is.

...building the body of Christ

No Compromise!

Text: James 4:4; 1 John 2:15

No compromise with evil shall be our battle cry,
For God and right must conquer, and sin and wrong must die;
Unflinching we are standing, uncompromisingly,
Beneath the flag of holiness forever we will be.

No compromise, no compromise,
This shall be our battle cry,
For God and right we will boldly fight,
We will keep the standard high.

No compromise with error, for Bible truth we stand,
Let none remove the landmarks erected by God’s hand.
With loyalty our watchword and faith in Christ our stay,
We’ll bravely storm the forts of sin and thro’ Him win the day.

No compromise with worldliness, no yielding to the wrong,
No lowering the standard that’s stood thro’ ages long;
With Jesus as our leader, His Spirit as our guide,
We’ll firmly stand for righteousness whatever may betide.

...building the body of Christ

Believing Is Seeing!

Text: Matthew 21:21-22; James 1:6

“If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you” (Matthew 17:20). Jesus was telling us that before we can see the supernatural happen we must first believe in the possibility of it.

When the Holy Spirit came with power upon the first generation of Christians, it was, at least in part, because they expected to see God’s power revealed. They had seen it before, and they would settle for nothing less. A mudpack in a blind man’s eyes is not supposed to return his sight, but it did! Five loaves and two small fishes are not enough to feed five thousand hungry people, but they were! Dead people do not come alive again, but they did!

All these things and more they had seen at the hands of the One who told them, “He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do” (John 14:12). They expected Christ to keep His word and He did.

Do we really believe this today? Do you believe it? Have your expectations of Jesus and His power been dimmed somehow? Have you filed them away in the dark, dusty corner of what used to be? Will you be satisfied with less than those who passed the message of Christ along to you?

What do you believe about God’s ability to transform lives today? These are questions each of us must answer. For I tell you that we experience no greater manifestation of His power than we are willing to believe, nay, expect. Whether we think Christ can and will, or cannot and will not, we will always be right. “be it unto you according to your faith and believe.”

Our expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies. From the world’s perspective ‘seeing is believing’, but as Christians, you first have to ‘believe it to see it’ or rather, you can and will only see God’s power transforming your circumstances when you eventually bring yourself to believe in Him and His word.

Finally brethren, our expectations largely determine our future experience. However, “it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy” (Romans 9:15-16).

*** By Robert Leslie Holmes | The Breath of Abundant Life ***

...building the body of Christ

Love Works When Nothing Else Will

Key Verse: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” Ephesians 2:25

After many years of marriage, Sam decided to divorce his wife. The reasons he gave his counselor were: ‘She’s not attractive, she’s not interesting, she’s overweight, and she’s a poor housekeeper.’

So the counselor gave him this suggestion: ‘Starting today, I want you to go home and treat your wife like a goddess. Start doing everything in your power to please her. Listen intently when she talks about her problems. Help around the house and take her out to dinner at the weekend. I want you to literally pretend that she is a goddess. Then after two months of this wonderful new behavior, pack your bags and leave. That should get her attention!

Sam agreed it was a great idea and decided to implement it. He took his wife away on romantic weekends and read poetry to her every night. After two months the counselor called and asked, ‘Sam, did you file for divorce? Are you looking forward to being a bachelor again?’

Sam replied, ‘Are you kidding? I am married to a goddess. I have never been happier in my life. I’d never leave my wife in a million years. In fact, I’m discovering new, wonderful things about her every single day. Divorce? Not an option!’

The Bible says, ‘…A man reaps what he sows (Galatians 6:7). And when Sam changed his strategy and started sowing seeds of love, he reaped a marriage he never dreamed possible. This isn’t peculiar to only men and husbands. Wives too should embrace a loving strategy to win their husbands' hearts and save their marriages.

Nothing truly is beyond the power of love. Love conquers all and when nothing else works, love will. Do you think this same strategy Sam employed in his home could possibly work for you? Why not give it a try and see what happens? Besides, you have got nothing to lose and chances are you and your spouse will love the results.

Let love reign in your heart and home. Show it daily in deeds and truth, and not just in words (1 John 3:18). Couples must learn to forgive and understand each other. And when God remains at the center of the home, no arrow of divorce from the Devil can prevail.

...building the body of Christ

Blest, Blest Forever

Only a little while, sowing and reaping,
Only a little while, our vigil keeping;
Then we shall gather home, no more to sever,
Clasped in eternal love, blest, blest forever.

Only a little while, heartbreak and sorrow,
Dark though the night may be, cloudless the morrow;
Only a little while, Earth ties to sever,
Then in our Father land, blest, blest forever.

Only a little while, shadow and sadness,
Then in eternity sunshine and gladness;
Only a little while, then o'er the river,
Home, rest and victor palm, life, joy forever.

*** Written by Fanny Crosby ***

...building the body of Christ

Praise: Therein Lies Your Victory

Text: Psalm 50:14-15, 23; 2 Chronicles 20:21-22

It is natural to praise God when something good happens or when everything is rosy, but it takes real sacrifice to offer praise when you have a tough problem. Then, you don’t feel like it because you are weary or you feel like God let you down. You think He is distant from you, or does not really care about what is troubling you when life has just dealt you some painful blows.

Well, here is what makes a big difference! Praising God in the time of adversity, though not a natural response, is a sure path to victory. I encourage you to praise God always, whatever your situation, because there is power in praise; therein lies your victory.

Praise invites God’s presence and paves the way for His power to be displayed in your life. King Jehoshaphat understood this quite well, and deployed the weapon of praise in the war between Judah and the combined forces of the Ammonites, Moabites and Mount Seir.

As Judah raised her voice in praise, “The Lord set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten. For the children of Ammon and Moab stood up against the inhabitants of mount Seir, utterly to slay and destroy them: and when they had made an end of the inhabitants of Seir, everyone helped to destroy another” (2 Chronicles 20:22-23).When you’re confronted with situations beyond your power and ability, sing praises to God, and He will pull you through.

The apostle Paul also experienced the power of praise in his life and ministry. When he was locked up in a Philippians jail with his companion, Silas, and throbbing with pain from the severe beating they had received from the jailors, he looked away from his predicament and praised God earnestly. God miraculously released him and Silas by opening all the prison doors through earthquake that shook the foundations of the prison (Acts 16:23-26). Miracle happens when you praise God.

Praise passed your battle over to God. It helps you place your trust in God and look away from your problem. It also makes you remember God’s great acts of the past in your life and leaves no room for you to complain and be negative. Praise lifts your faith. You cannot sincerely praise God and remain despondent and doubtful of His ability to pull you through your circumstance. As you praise God, your spirit is lifted, your anxiety dissipated, and your nerves calmed.

However, you cannot truly praise God or experience the wonders of praise except you accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. That means, you must confess your sins to God, ask Him to forgive you, repent of those sins, believe in Jesus, and live by the Word of God.

Praise is a potent weapon in the hand of a Christian and the pathway to victory. So, when next you are confronted with a situation that is beyond you, praise God just as Jehoshaphat, the people of Judah, Paul and Silas did when they had a tough problem. He will give you the victory you deserve.

*** Written by Pastor W.F. Kumuyi | DCLM Women Mirror ***

...building the body of Christ