Christian Humour - The Virgin Mary

Text: Philippians 4:4; Psalm 32:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:16

***Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. ***

Little Kiana, under the tutelage of her grandfather, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.

Then one day Kiana floored her grandfather by asking, "Which virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"

*** Copyright David Tait | 'Laughing At Ourselves' | Walking With Jesus Ministries ***

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Christian Humour – As Jesus Did

Text: Philippians 4:4; Psalm 32:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:16

***Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. ***

Old Pastor McTavish was dying. He sent a message for an IRS agent and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived they were ushered up to his bedroom.

As they entered the room, Pastor McTavish motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. Then he grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. But they were also puzzled because Pastor McTavish had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them.

They both remembered how his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed and covetousness had made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the lawyer said, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"

Pastor McTavish smiled weakly and said, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too."

*** Copyright David Tait | 'Laughing At Ourselves' | Walking With Jesus Ministries ***

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Christian Humour - Only One Miracle Today

Text: Philippians 4:4; Psalm 32:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:16

***Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. ***

Grandma Deanie took her little grandson Billy to the beach. They were having a good time until a huge wave came in and swept Billy out to sea. Grandma Deanie fell down on her knees and pleaded to the heavens, "Please return my grandson, - that's all I ask! PLEASE!!!"

A moment later, lo and behold, a wave swelled from the ocean and deposited the wet, yet unhurt child, at her feet. She checked him over to make sure that he was okay. He was fine. But still she looked up at the sky with an annoyed expression and said, "When we came he had a hat!"

*** Copyright David Tait | 'Laughing At Ourselves' | Walking With Jesus Ministries ***

THE TRUTH MEDIA

...building the body of Christ

Christian Humour - God’s Way?

Text: Philippians 4:4; Psalm 32:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:16

***Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. ***

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so man and woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan developed the fast foods industry. And fast foods brought forth the 99 cent double cheeseburger. And Satan said to man, "You want fries with that?" And man said, "Supersize them." And man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yoghurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And Satan froze the yoghurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yoghurt. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And man gained pounds.

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery, angioplastys, and stents. And Satan established HMOs...

*** Copyright David Tait | 'Laughing At Ourselves' | Walking With Jesus Ministries ***

THE TRUTH MEDIA

...building the body of Christ